Jax grabbed at his ears, pulling at them harshly. Maybe the pain would pull him out of regression. But it didn't. Of course it didn't. How long had it been since he regressed? There was no way of knowing. Jax lost all sense of time almost immediately after joining the circus. Clocks melted off the walls like they were allergic, and the one calendar he managed to find read the same day and month on every page. He stared long and hard at the ceiling of his bedroom as he laid on his bed. He hated his room; the polka dot patterns that he swore pulsed and danced across the walls made him sick to his stomach, even if he likely didn't have one. The grassy green carpet always stayed soft without vacuuming, so that was a plus, he supposed. He registers a faint rattling of the doorknob. Jax got up reluctantly, and walked up to it. He spoke through the door, not bothering to open it until he figured out who it was. "What?" Was all he asked, in that signature rude tone of his. "It's Gangle. I wanted to talk about something…" Jax was definitely taken aback. Gangle? Willingly talking to him? He knew better, this was definitely the setup for something. He didn't know what, but something for sure. He cleared his throat, putting on a grin that he certainly wasn't feeling. "Yeah right. Come back when you can pull your sick tricks to my face, Zooble." He still wasn't over the maid thing, clearly. "No, seriously," Gangle said, her voice bordering on whining towards the end, "It's about the pacifier." Oh yeah. Jax opened the door, his facade caked on thick like stage makeup. "Why? Not big enough for your crybaby mouth?" "I want to know why you had one in the first place." Gangle practically demanded. Her face showed that she really meant it. Jax's quick mind saved him. "It's a souvenir I picked up from an adventure. Stole it right out of a baby's mouth. I thought you'd enjoy it." That, for once, was true. The stealing the pacifier from a baby part. It was from the candy kingdom, and the nipple part was originaly coated in a lollipop-like candy, and too small for an adult's mouth. Jax was able to get a spare from Caine via a good friend of his. Great, now that he reminised that, he feels even more on the verge of a meltdown. Gnagle's shrill voice brought him back to reality. "What the- Jax! That's mean and gross! I don't know where this has been!" "Whaaaat? I was being thoughtful!" "That's not-" Gangle choked up. Her comedy mask began to chip at the corners, and Jax's eyes zeroed in on them. That was the new goal: to make those cracks dance across her mask in a demeaning musical number; the music provided being her wailing. Maybe seeing her cry would make him feel better. Maybe it would keep him feeling big and powerful. He smirked. "Oh well, it doesn't matter what you say. I already know your little secret, anyway." Gangle stopped. Her mask cracked some more, but it didn't shatter and fall to the floor in a million pieces. Not yet. Okay, Jax thought to himself. Maybe she was feeling particularly strong today- "And- and I think I know yours, too." That fire of faux confidence burning in Jax's chest was immediately extinguished. Now left cold and speechless, it was now his turn to be caught off guard. Despite everything he felt at the moment, he pinned that grin high and sardonic, towering over Gangle to feel some sense of power in this situation. "And what secret could you possibly know about me?" "I think you regress, too." Jax's pupils shrunk ever so slightly. He stood up straight, no longer leaning over the Gangle. "Oh, no no no. Don't drag me down to your level. Don't think for a moment that we're equals." The bitterness that permeated his tone was particularly evident on 'think.' Gangle looked at him not with fear, but with sympathy. She took a deep breath, preparing for what she knows is about to come. Her ribbons coiled around the handle of the pacifier, holding onto it like it was the only thing keeping her mask from cracking. And in a way, it kinda was. "You know that it's an okay thing to do, right?" However, Jax continued on, not bothering to stop and listen to Gangle. His teeth gritted. "Don't even suggest that I do all the dumb, disgusting, childish things that you do. I don't sit and whine like a little baby because the world doesn't care to soften its blows. I take it like an adult." Gangle's mask cracked a little more, now resembling thin, black veins creeping onto her mask. Nonetheless, she perservered. "I mean it, Jax. Y-" "And so do I! We are nothing alike. Stop trying to relate to me. You could never possibly understand anything I go through." Jax chuckled darkly. "You'd probably cry three sentences in if I even began to explain, anyway." But Gangle didn't give up. She took another step closer, the pacifier still looped around her ribbon hands. "What if we regressed together? Would that help? Maybe it'd help you realize that you're not alone, and-" "Oh no," Jax started, fuming, "There is no way in the world that I'm going to do- that with you. After all I've done to you, you seriously wanna play toys with me? You must be some kind of dirty masochist." The last words gritted like sand against his teeth. Gangle looked up at Jax, her black voids-for-eyes wide as her comedy mask cracked just a touch more. "…It's not masochism to believe someone is worth helping." She said, quietly. She took a step back, mustering all the courage she held in her hollow body. "But m-maybe you should look inwards, if you're so against it." But at the end of it all, Gangle decided to drop it. Jax was shaking from either anger or fear(or both), clenching his fists and standing in a wide stance. The bundle of ribbons walked away, occasionally looking over her shoulder to make sure Jax wasn't following. As she disapeared down the hall and into Zooble's room, Jax muttered, "I knew it," with a sad attempt at a grin and convincing himself he'd won. Jax took a step towards his door, only to hit his foot on something. He looked down to see the mocking face of the pacifier. His pacifier. Oh, that's what Gangle really dropped. He considered throwing it across the room, hoping it'd break beyond repair. Maybe he could bury it outside, or toss it in the Digital Lake. But instead of any of those options, he did the most outrageous thing and pocketed it. Back in his room, at square one. Jax laid back down on the bed, and took the pacifier out of his pocket. He stared at it, and wiped some dust off. Every fiber in his body screamed not to do it. Well, not every fiber, but that's what he wanted to believe. With a unintelligible grumble, he popped the pacifier in his mouth. He sucked on it for a minute or so, trying to extract any good feeling from it. Why wasn't this working? Jax kept sucking on the thing, arms crossed. Maybe he needed something to do while he sucked on it. All he was doing right now was stewing in his bad thoughts. And he knew just who to steal from. Jax took the pacifier out of his mouth and shoved it in a drawer on his nightstand. With lead-heavy feet, he made his way out of his room, with a key to Gangle's room in his right hand. making sure no witnesses were around, he unlocked the door with the yellow plastic key. He stepped inside her room, shut the door, and began his search. New mission: find where Gangle keeps her art stuff. It wasn't all that hard to find, actually. She kept it all in an intricately carved chest to the right of her bed, by her vanity. He took an empty notebook and a small black bag of markers and immediately booked it out of there. As much as Jax would've loved to snoop for more blackmail, it was best to stay there for as little time as possible, especially with the conversation they just had. What? He was gonna give the stuff back at some point. …Or not. Either way, this was just temporary. Without a desk in his room, Jax laid on the floor on his stomach, feet crossed. Now the real question: what should he draw? It's been so long since he's done this, it felt unnatural. As he pondered this, Jax opened the bag of markers. Laid on top was a little paper with a bunch of numbers and squares labeled 'swatch sheet,' and about forty something markers that smelled of diluted rubbing alcohol. Jax didn't bother with the swatch sheet. He tossed it off in no direction in particular and chose a few colors: blue for the sky, green for the grass, and red for the truck. Jax didn't like the Sun, so he omitted her from his masterpiece in the works. With the thick chisel end of the marker, he drew a red truck from memory. It was funny and kinda sad, that Jax hardly remembered the details of his own truck. He did not color it in. He did, however, color in the blue sky and green grass with scribbles, which made him snicker as he colored the page with reckless abandon. Somewhere along the way, he took the pacifier out of the drawer and put it back in his mouth. He was getting the hang of this! Maybe this wasn't so bad… Once it was finished, he tore the page out of the sketchbook. Hey, it ain't that had for not seeing a truck since the Candy Kingdom! And for a moment, as he stared at his crudely drawn truck, he forgot about everything. About the stress on his shoulders, and that this is what regression was all about. But only for a moment. Jax spat the pacifier out of his mouth, not caring about where it landed, and crumpled up the drawing. It felt good, to slip away for a bit, and for some reason, that disgusted him. How dare he enjoy such.. childish things. The guilty hatred burned low and hot, glowing like coals deep in his gut. He was better than this, better than Gangle. He rolled the paper ball under his bed and sat back down, head in his hands. He didn't feel like he was done with Gangle's art supplies, though. Not yet.